Week 4 Session Notes: Pitch, and Feedback

In the week four session each group gave it's official pitch for their film idea.  As I have shown in previous posts I have revised the treatment a couple of times as our idea developed.  As a group we all contributed to the idea development through our production meetings and Facebook group and from all the contributions I formed the treatment.

I wrote up the treatment and prepared the pitch.  As supporting documentation for our treatment and pitch I created a photo storyboard that showed all the scenes of the storyboard using similar pictures found online that had similar mood and content to what we would want to shoot and include in the film.

I also created a poster to show whilst we presented the pitch.  For this I used the photo that I think best illustrates what the film is about.  It shows Tango Man at a football match in the heat of the moment, posing with his SWFC tattoo.  From the picture it's difficult to see if he is being thuggish or just an enthusiastic fan.  This is the basis of the film.  Just because he takes his top off, does that make him a thug?  Because he's a large man with a bald / skin head, does that make him a thug?  Is it worth banning him from matches on those grounds?  Has he ever actually caused any trouble?
 

For the pitch I also prepared two short clips from documentaries which I referred to in the treatment, whose styles was an influence on our film idea and show what we would like to achieve with our film.

The first is an excerpt from the 1997 football documentary 'There's Only One Barry Fry' which looked at a season at Peterborough FC.  The reason that I like this clip and wanted to include it in the pitch is because there are some wonderful atmospheric shots in and around the stadium, which is how I envisage our stadium shots for the poetic documentary.  There is something very calm and beautiful about an empty stadium.  There's always a kind of weird electricity in the air.  There's a feeling of all the charged emotion and action that has taken place before lingering on.  It's a similar feeling to when you visit old battlefields.  There's something in the air that's difficult to describe.

The other clip that I chose is from a Chris Terrill documentary 'Commando - On the Frontline'.  I really like Chris Terrill's documentaries, in his previous films he has embedded himself in the Army and Navy to produce fly on the wall observational documentaries but interacts with the troops also.  It's a combination that really works.  One, because it shows his enthusiasm for his subjects without actually becoming an on-screen presenter and two, because by addressing the subjects you get them to reveal what they are actually feeling in difficult, life threatening circumstances, which you wouldn't have heard if you had just watched the action without getting their thoughts.  If you just watch the footage of soldiers engaged in a firefight, shouting and swearing, you don't realise how scared they are, but how determined they are to do the job.  This is conveyed through their engaging with the film maker.

When we presented the pitch, I seemed to do most of the presenting, probably because it was I who had put the documents together.  I presented using the treatment as a guide and thought that the pitch went well.  There was a couple of questions and a lot of discussion after the pitch which we, as a team, answered well and engaged with fully.  I was really pleased with the way the pitch went.

Presenting the pitch was a bit of a challenge for me as I have a problem with presenting.  I am fine if I am the one doing the talking, and answering questions.  (If I am occupied.)  However, if I am stood at the front and not involved at the time I get extremely nervous, and the longer that it goes on the more nervous I get, and I start shaking and fidgeting and want to faint!  So I was actually really pleased that I did most of the presenting and discussion, and answered a lot of the questions.  I do get conscious though that I don't want to leave other team members out of the pitch, but I think that I got a good balance.  Everybody got to answer questions and have an input into the discussions.

FEEDBACK

I have received the feedback from Chrissie and taken note of the points raised. I recognise that the pitch sounded scripted.  I did use the treatment as a form of script to guide me through the pitch.  If I was to do it again I would rewrite the idea and scenario in a more flowing, poetic way incorporating and portraying the pace and mood of the films.

I did actually write a very good poetic pitch for my CPR module where I pitched an idea for a scene with the theme of 'Uncanny':
  

Scene Synopsis:

The scene is the brightly lit interior of a science lab, all white and sterile, and silent.  Close up of a tabletop experiment.  A live white rabbit is moving around a small sectioned off area with three walls, all of which have grid lines and measurements marked on them.  (Reminiscent of Muybridge’s photographic experiments regarding movement in animals.) 

After a short time the rabbit appears to be in discomfort and patches of his white fur start to fall out.  As the flesh below starts to show through, more and more fur falls out from all over its body.  The rabbit stands still as not only the fur but now patches of skin and flesh also start to fall away, revealing bones beneath.

This shedding of fur, then skin, then flesh continues until all that remains is the skeleton.  But as the last of the flesh falls away, we see that it is not the skeleton of a rabbit but that of a bird.

After a couple of seconds realising that the skeleton has wings instead of front legs, and a beak instead of its nose, there is a creaking sound as the skeleton begins to move of its own accord.  It is coming alive.  The bones are reanimated and the bird gathers itself, lifts up its head, stands on its skeletal legs, unfurls its wing bones and flies away.

 

I also appreciate the comments about making the opening sound more exciting, enough to grab the audience's attention.  The storyboard went some way toward showing that it will be more exciting than I made it sound but I do recognise that I needed to sell it more n the pitch.

 

All the comments were very useful and I will bear them in mind for future pitches.